what is your favorite holiday?
Obnoxiously, Christmas. Everything is bright and happy. Even when you're at your worst, people decide then is the time to actually care about people. Even the assholes can't ruin it all. You walk away and find cheer somewhere else. Big family gatherings, all the food, because foods. I'm even a sucker for the lights.

if anything, what are you going to be for halloween?
I don't know, but I did think about being Gru. But she was a minion already. It's a tough call. Taking suggestions.

describe your favorite childhood memory.
My dad. He was trying to show me all I needed to from under the hood of the car. That beat up old Chevy moment. He had this way of making you laugh without meaning to. It was the way about him, not what he was telling you. Put you at ease no matter what you were doing. That might be the worst description of a memory, but its what I have. Most were about him. Oh, I was getting to a point. Yeah, my sister came running out and tripped right after the porch step as he was explaining, and it was like a domino stack falling in slow motion. Right into the mud, face first. Best moment of my life to watch.

if you cold alter history, what point in your life would you change? how would you rewrite it?
Getting caught. Doing time.

what makes up your perfect meal?
I don't know if admitting this is good, but I love a good meatloaf. Have you ever tried one off a grill? Its insanely good. Throw on some mashed potatoes, and some side of veg and call it heaven.

name 3 things that you are looking forward to.
Eating, sleeping, and Christmas.

what is your relationship with your family like?
Good, mostly? I don't talk to my sister regularly, but she has her own life. There's no one else other than my daughter.

how competitive are you?
Less than I seem like, but I like to put my foot in my mouth and joke around. I'm more competitive with myself. Wants vs. needs. Rough fight for all, I'll tell you.

if you could get 3 wishes granted, what would you ask for?
Endless amount of money, more time with my daughter, and to fix the fuck up that is humanity.

what is your biggest fear?
Losing my little girl.

what grinds your gears?
Purposeful ignorance.

do you believe in a thing called 'love'?
I really do. I'll sing it too.

when was the last time you cried?
Couple months back.

if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?
Why me? I don't care about what context.

if you had something to tell someone, do you tell them right away? or do you keep quiet until "the right moment"?
Right moment. I hate throwing things on people.

for the sake of science, do you want to participate in an experiment?
I would. More for my own curiosity than science.

What do you want people to know about you?
This is difficult because I don't ever think about it. I think I run that line between quiet and annoying. I think things through, too much, and pay a lot more attention than I've noticed people believe me to. If you don't want to know the actual answer to something, you may not want to ask. I'm opinionated, but I don't put it on people. What goes on in my head is what goes on in my head. And if I wanted to even try to explain everything going on up there, there is no way in the world that I'm going to get it all out a. quick enough and b. without making a damn joke.

If your life went exactly how you wanted it to go, how would it go?
I would be at home, eating to my heart's content pretending to be Superman with my little girl.

Describe the physical traits of your perfect date.
Everything is so ridiculously normal. The stars are out, the grass is green. There's a blanket with just enough space for us. Food that kills me. And she's smiling at me like nobody else would. The kind that knocks you on your ass but you don't care about getting back up. And then, I whip out the props and we act out a dumb scene from a music video or movie for a laugh.

How do you make your tacos?
Carefully. Fry up the meat, season it, pour it in the shell...wait, is this a dirty question?

Favorite snack food you eat late at night?
Chips. Give me all of your damn chips.

Song stuck in your head at the moment?
Bohemian Rhapsody. I've been with my daughter for about a week now and this is always what calms her so there's been a lot of this going on. Even with us singing.

What was the last stuffed animal you bought?

How do you relieve stress?
A lot of time spent online. I'm not a big fighter. I'm more about the smiles.

They say everything has a purpose, what is the purpose of an ant?
To show everyone else out there the real strength there is in numbers and size don't mean a thing.

Pepsi or coke?

Who do you call for a good time?
Is this a hooker question?

have you ever called the numbers posted in bathroom stalls?
Only while ON the toilet IN those stalls. Its fair.

What takes your breath away?
can you do a head stand?
I can and hold it.

what are you living for?
Software Engineer and I also work in private security doing risk management.

Are you shy about anything?
I don't know if I would call it shy. But I am weary of saying some things to people or bringing them up. Because reactions matter and I'm good about putting my foot in my mouth.

what memory would you like to relive?
I would take any of them, even the bad ones, with my dad.

what is the craziest stunt you've pulled?
Shaving cats is not a good idea. Neither is trying to make them blast off. Let's leave it at that.

if you owned a Vespa, what would you name it?
Mami. Wanna take a ride on my mami?

what last lie got you out of trouble?
I don't do a lot of this. Mostly omit the truth or distort it so that its more a white lie because real lies are too easy to mess up. But I think if I did it was work related and how I couldn't come in because I was sick and my phone was attacked by my dog. Or something like that.

were you a snotty nose kid that plotted mischief?
I'm still a snotty nose kid that plotted mischief. Only difference is my body is a little older.

what's on your phone's lock screen?
My daughter after she stole my phone, took a selfie, and then manipulated the picture so she had bug eyes. If that doesn't say she's mine, I don't know what does.

What do you want to learn more about?
Random odd facts about the dumbest things. These really do hold my interests.